Downward spiral
by CtrlAltDelete
Summary: The following Fic may contain scenes of violence and mature subject matter. Readers discretion is advised.
1. Default Chapter

_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story. If I did, I'd be rich!_

**Chapter 1, A lawyer's tale.**

"It doesn't matter. Even If I kill Voldemort, a new evil will come. What's the point?"

"That's exactly what I've been telling you, Harry. There _is_ no point. There will always be evil, so why fight it?"

"Very persuasive, spoken like a true lawyer."

"It's what I do. So you'll consider my offer?"

Harry sat in the LA office dimly lit, and nicely furnished, staring at his cup of tea. He traced his finger along the pattern of the red and white china pondering what he should reply.

Lindsay, the American lawyer working for Wolfram and Hart, the law firm, had just offered him a job. What exactly he was to do on said job, was unclear, but it involved a lot of dirty and questionable work. Not an assassin, no. The Senior Partners wouldn't degrade such a powerful wizard to the likes of a mere assassin. No, they had bigger plans for him. They wanted him to save the world. Not in the way Proffesor Dumbledor wanted of course.

Dumbledor was a fool, he believed you could get rid of evil and live in a magical land with Smurfs and Carebears where nothing ever went wrong and everyone got along. Dumb ass. Lindsay was right, evil as he might be. Wolfram and Hart wanted him to save the world, by destroying it. Get rid of all the pain and suffering. And they did have a valid point there. The only way to get rid of evil was to take the good with it.

"I think I'm going to take some time with this if that's all right with you. But I can assure you I won't be reporting our little meeting to Dumbledor."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"That's it? That's all you have to say?"

"Yes."

"How do you know I'm not lying?"

" You seem to evil for that."

"Thanks, you really know how to win over your clients. Note the sarcasm."

"I think you'll make a good employee here, Harry."

"Hmm...I'll contact you later."

And with that, Harry left Wolfram and Hart into the streets of Los Angeles California. He walked for half a block thinking about how he was supposed to be at Privet Drive right now. How could Dumbledor expect to win the war if he can't even keep a tab on a fifteen-year-old boy anymore? He stopped in the middle of an ally and apperated back to his "home" never once thinking about the offer presented to him. He was too tired. So he just collapsed on his bed, and slept.

_(A/N Sorry the first chapter is so short, the next one will be longer I promise. It's short because I just wanted to get you, the reader, to want to know more. This chapter is almost like a trailer for a movie. Please read and review, and read the next chapter too, because the story gets a lot messier and more crazy and scary. Thank ye!)_


	2. The Dream I have

_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story. Boy, I sure wish I did though, That'd be sweet! I want to own Snape. Thinks evil thoughts..._

**Chapter 2, The dream I have.**

That night, Harry dreamt that he was at a park with high swing sets. He was climbing one of them all the way to the top. But when he looked down, he saw hundreds of hedgehogs standing at the bottom looking up at him, pleading him to help as dark cold water spilled over them, drowning and killing everything it touched. He smiled down at the scene and started to laugh, until he realized that the water was rising. It kept climbing until it was close to Harry. He knew it was his own fault, that he had started it. That all the hedgehogs died because of him, he didn't care. And soon the water was going to kill him too. He couldn't let something like that happen to him. With one swift motion, Harry brought his hand up to his face. It was covered in blood. It was his fault, all his fault. Harry started to feel the sharp pang of guilt. He covered his mouth and nose with the bloody hand, until he couldn't breath. He wouldn't let the water drown him, he would kill himself. As the water rose, his vision became blurry and he knew it was the end. And with his last breath, he apologized to the world. Then he died, and the water consumed him.

Harry woke up slowly and calmly, like it was just a normal dream. That's because it was a normal dream. He had been having it for quite some time. Maybe every other night for about two weeks now. He was somewhat confused to its meaning though, and that royally pissed him off. He hated being confused and not knowing things. 

He sat on his bed thinking about his dream, but his mind just didn't want to work. So, like any other fifteen-year-old boy would, Harry came to the logical conclusion.

"Food." He mumbled to himself. He slowly stood up, sat back down, stood up again and stumbled blindly out of his room, almost killed himself on the stairs and all for a stupid piece of toast, dry toast. Mm, what joy, I think I'll dance. He sat down at the table and ignored the evil stare he received from his uncle. Actually, the kick he got from his cousin Dudly was quite nice, at least it was a recondition of his existence. Usually all he got was the evil stare, and maybe a few words out of his aunt. But it was only to tell him to do his chores. That had happened less and less over the summer.

So Harry ate his toast in silence, thinking about his next return to Hogwarts. Boy would they be surprised. He had changed a lot in this short period of time. His hair was longer, almost shoulder length but not quite, and he had used a spell before he left the train to repair his vision, his glasses were getting boring. He liked to wear make up now, not a lot, just some eyeliner and consealler to make his scar less noticeable. He also wore a lot of black clothes, black jeans, black shirts, black bracelets. But his favorite thing to wear was his silver ring, in the shape of a serpent wrapped around his finger. Taking one look at him, a grownup would say he was a Goth/punk, but Harry was neither. He never smoked, or did drugs, and he didn't like punk music, or rock. He liked to sit in his room or in the park listening to his Walkman which usually played Rock Opera, Opera, music from the 80's, or Japanese Tech music. But his favorite thing to do this summer was visit LA. Harry loved LA, the way the streets worked, the music, the parties, the people. That was his favorite part of LA, the people. There were so many different types of people there, so many personalities. Harry sighed and walked out of the kitchen feeling even hungrier than before, if that was possible.

* * *

Back in his bedroom, Harry sat cross-legged on the ugly blue carpet leaning against the wall just under the window. It was a bright sunny day, but the weather did not reflect his emotions in the least. It was hot, so Harry left the window open, letting in the retched sunlight and the tinniest of breezes. He thought about making himself a paper fan, but he was too lazy, and too bothered by what had happened the other night. Maybe Ron had an answer to his problems.

In his hand he held a letter from Ronald Weasley, his friend, not his best friend. Don't get him wrong, Harry loved Ron like a brother, well he used to anyway. He seemed to be growing apart from everyone around him lately. Strange.

Harry re-read the letter and sighed. Ron was so naive, everyone who followed Dumbledor was. It seemed that no one except him, and Wolfram and Hart, could grasp the concept of the yin-yang. It was fools like Dumledor and Voldemort that think it can be one way or the other, that start wars like the coming one. Harry decided that this particular internal battle was not too important right now, so he read Ron's letter once again.

_Dear Harry, _

_It sucks that you have to stay_

_With the Durslys for another week._

_Not much going on with me, just _

_Sitting around the house. I'll see _

_You in a week. _

_Ron_

Harry crumpled up the pathetic letter. Not even a, "how are you?" Maybe Ron was finally realizing that Harry was drifting away. But the fool still wrote to him. What a dip-shit. Oh how he loathed Ron right now. Harry took out a new sheet of paper to reply on. But found himself writing an angry letter instead.

"No Ron, you can't visit Harry, even though I have no authority over you especially over the summer holidays."

"Yes professor Dumbledor, what ever you say, because I'm incapable of thinking for myself." Harry mimicked in a high pitch voice as he wrote away everything he hated about Ron, and Dumbledor, and Hermione, and summer, and School, and the Ministry, and life. The paper tuned out to be three papers double sided, full of letters which turned into words, which turned into sentences, which turned into paragraphs, all about the things he hated. When he was done, he read it over again and noticed he never put down anything about Voldemort. He never once put down anything about Voldemort. And he realized that he had written that the worst thing in the world, is not being able to stop all the pain.

"Thank you Ron, I think you did help me decide. I'll go see Lindsay now." So Harry got up, feeling a little better now that things had cleared up in his head somewhat, and apperated back to LA.

Harry walked around the street for a little while, thinking over what he was about to do. Harry was no fool, he wouldn't just jump in head first like he used to. He thought long and hard about everything and he knew he needed some questions answered. Not all of them could be answered by one person, though. Harry needed to see both sides of the story first. He walked right past Wolfram and Hart and towards a little hotel with the sign that read, "Angel Investigations". Harry was no fool, he would seek as much knowledge about Wolfram and Hart as he could, and who better to talk to then their worst enemy.

_(A/N so that was chapter two. Still a little short, I know, but I couldn't keep the story moving with out starting a new chapter, it would have been run-on, like this sentence. It would be appreciated if you reviewed, but don't feel obligated, if you don't want to review, then don't. The next chapter will be up soon, in less then a week I can assure you.)_


	3. Angel Investigations

_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story. That would be the work of JKRowling and Joss W. aka My idols. _

**Chapter three, Angel Investigations.**

Harry stood in front of the hotel looking at its southern design. It was really quite nice actually. It was white for the most part, and not too big, maybe 70 rooms or so. It was about 4 in the morning LA time. It was about 11 in the morning for Harry though, so he was wide-awake, and he knew Angel would be too, due to the fact that Angel was a vampire and he lived at night.

So Harry walked up to the front doors and dramatically threw both of them open as he entered. He didn't know why, but he felt dramatic at the moment. Looking around the main foyer, he saw red furniture and opposite the entrance which he just used, were two double grand staircases each one identical to the other but moving in opposite directions. To the left, was what looked like a clerk's desk and behind it, offices.

"Anyone home?" Harry asked the empty room. And immediately, a young woman came striding in holding a gorgeous smile, short brown hair, and a stunning burgundy dress.

"Angel Investigations, my name is Cordelia Chase, how may I help you?" Cordelia stuck out her hand, Harry ignored it and chose to look around the room instead.

"I'm looking for Angel actually."

"Oh, well he's currently on a case, but if you'd like to come sit down I'll fill out a report and my associate Wesley will give you a list of convenient payment plans." At that, a man with short brown hair, a tie, and glasses walked by and handed him the list, never once putting the book he was reading down.

"Thanks, but I'm not here for a case, just some information."

"Information?"

"Yeah. Can you tell me when Angel will be back?"

"How old are you?" It was the one called Wesley speaking.

"Um, what?"

"How old are you?"

"Fifteen."

"Hm."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"It's just strange that a fifteen-year-old boy, presumably from England, is walking around the streets of LA at four in the morning. Do you know the kind of things that are out there?"

"Demons, vampires, evil dark wizards, rapists, muggers, murderers, shall I continue?"

"Wow, Wess, the kid knows a lot."

"Not enough."

"And that's why you're here. You want to know more."

"Exactly." Harry said, smiling.

"Well, maybe we can help you."

"Maybe you can, I'm looking for as much information on Wolfram and Hart that I can."

"Wolfram and Hart?"

"I was offered a job there, I want to see both sides of the story first. I knew you to be their enemy, so I figured I'd give you a chance to persuade me out of it before I made a mistake. I want to know everything. I want to know everything since the beginning of the world. Tell me how it all started and tell me how it ends."

"Why don't we start in my office."

"Wess, are you sure we can trust him?"

Wesley gave Harry a quick nod, and led him to his office.

* * *

Inside Wesley's office, Harry sat by a desk covered with books, papers, and documents. He had been in there for a few hours, reading and researching everything about good and evil he could find. Wesley came in from time to time and helped him in his research and Cordelea brought them some tea, still looking a bit shifty and uncomfortable with Harry. But he was used to being looked at that way, so he ignored it in favor of a book on "The First", which apparently, was the absolute first evil to ever exist. Harry found that interesting, because he never really wondered what the first evil to ever exist was, and there was a book on it, so he read it.

A few hours later, Angel appeared in the office. He just stood in the doorway looking at Harry as he read his book. Harry finally looked up and smiled one of his brightest smiles. Angel didn't return it.

"Wolfram and Hart wants you." It wasn't a question. Harry just smiled brighter.

"I guess you're wondering what's so special about me?"

"You're the boy who lived."

"Does _everyone_ know who I am?"

"Aren't you suppose to be one of the good guys?"

"I see you read the tabloids." There was a moment of awkward silence, then Wesley cleared his throat indicating that he wanted to say something.

"Really, Angel, Harry did the right thing coming to us first, to get all the information he could before he made a decision. It was really vary responsible of him to do that. -"

"And was it responsible for him to leave England without an adult? Was it responsible for him to go to Wolfram and Hart in the first place?"

"That's not the point."

"Fine. What do you want to know about Wolfram and Hart? They're evil, that's about all you need to know."

"I lied."

"What?" Wesley, Cordelia, and Angel all said in unison. Harry just sat there clutching the armrest. After a few moments, he looked up into Angels eyes, all emotion completely gone, nothing but pure sincerity remained.

"I lied. I didn't come here to ask about Wolfram and Hart. I only came to ask you one question Angel." There was a long pause on both sides before Angel finally asked.

"What's your question?"

"I want to know. I want to know when you go out into the street, when you fight demons, when you save the world, supposedly. I want to know how many people got hurt, emotionally, physically, and any other way you could thing of. How many people suffer everyday, do you think?"

Angel just stood there, staring at Harry for a long while, thinking of what was just asked. He thought about all the pain and suffering in the world, he thought about all the things he'd seen and done. How many people suffer because of everyday life, because of things they couldn't control. He looked into Harry's eyes and saw that he had been hurt, badly. All the hurt in the world was reflected in this one boy's eyes. He looked Harry strait in the face and said. "You do...what you need to do. You can stop this... I just hope you do it the right way." And with that, Angel walked out of the room pushing back tears so that Wesley and Cordy wouldn't see him cry.

"What was all _that_ about?" Cordy asked, watching Angel storm out of the building. She turned back to face Wess and Harry. Harry just stood up slowly and walked toward the front doors.

"I hope you found what you were looking for Harry." Wesley said as Harry reached for the door handle. Harry slowly turned around and gave a small weak smile to the both of them.

"I think I did. And I think everything will be all right. Thank you." Harry turned back around and walked out shutting the door quietly before he left.

* * *

Back inside Angel investigations, Wesley sat down on one of the puffy red couches with a soft thud. He had seen the darkness inside the boy's eyes. The boy was young, yes, but he had seen more than even he himself had in his entire life. There was sadness to his expression that just couldn't be described. Wesley just couldn't figure out how to word it.

"That boy has some serious child-hood traumas."

Wesley thought about that for a moment before replying, "Yes Cordy, I think you're right."

TBC

_(A/N: Wow, thanks for the reviews people! Just clear a few things up, This fic takes place in early season four. I was first a Buffy fan, and didn't even watch Angel until it came out on DVD. I now own all seven seasons of Buffy and all five seasons of Angel. Thank you m and Alex for reviewing chapter two, I wasn't going to continue the story but your reviews convinced me to. Thanx again for reviewing everyone!)_


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